Saying Goodbye

Have you recently lost someone you love?

They left too soon.

They suffered so badly.

They didn’t deserve what they went through.

Maybe you can still hear the minister’s words of comfort as you said your final goodbye on the day of the funeral. For some, it’s as recent as last week... while others have been playing out the same scene in their mind for many years.

I know it hurts.

I know you would give anything to have just one more day... one more chance to say “I love you.” My heart breaks for those in agony. If that is you today... please know that you are sincerely in my prayers. I also know that, as painful as it is, life must go on. People go home. The workweek comes. Photo albums return to the shelf.

And the pain remains. What are we supposed to do with it?

What do we do with how badly it hurts?

I’d like to offer a few things to think about as the healing process begins or continues:

1) Remember that God is in control

“The Lord has made the heavens his throne;

    from there he rules over everything.” Psalm 103:19

There is nothing you are feeling that God isn’t aware of. He brings people into the world at the perfect time and calls them home at the perfect time. There is never a second where He turns His back on the world He created.

2) Trust God without having to understand

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.

“And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.

For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so my ways are higher than your ways

and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9

You won’t have all the answers. The “why” it happened isn’t as important as what you do with the legacy they left behind. Don’t withdraw from God just because He hasn’t shown you the reason for your loss. Run to Him and allow Him to comfort you like the loving Father He is. You may not understand why but you can always trust the “Who” that is in control.

3) Know that God will use it.

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28

I don’t know why it happened. But I know that something will happen because of it that is positive. You may not see it now... or want to even think about it... but God has a purpose for everything. Maybe losing your loved one will lead someone to Christ... maybe the legacy left behind will allow you to change a community... a paradigm... or your family. Don’t waste what you are feeling... allow God to work through you and use it in a powerful way to help others.

Your loved one’s life can continue on. You have to decide if they would rather have you grieve their loss forever or pass on what they valued to forever change the world.

4) Thank God for what you had

“Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18

You may have heard the phrase “better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. It’s true. Your friend/family member/spouse was a gift that you got to cross paths with and walk beside for a season. They were a blessing that nobody can take away. You may be apart for now... but if you are both Christ-followers... that will not be a permanent condition. Be thankful to God for their presence in your life..however brief it was.

5) Let God heal your heart

“What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.

Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death?  (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”) No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.”

Romans 8:31-38

God’s love is enough. He sees the tears. He feels your pain. He will never ever ever leave your side. Study His word... talk to Him in prayer... let Him hold you up when you don’t have the strength. He is strong enough to hear your anger and gracious enough to respond in love. Cry out to Him. Allow yourself to forgive and be forgiven. Keep serving, giving, and loving even when you don’t think you can. And above all...

Know that you are being prayed for. You aren’t alone or forgotten.

God is with you.

Eyes Closed

A 28-year-old woman was recently hospitalized after running her car into a North Florida home.  Police reported that the driver lost control of her vehicle, ran a stop sign, plowed through an intersection, and jumped the curb before coming to a stop against the side of a residence.  When asked what happened, the driver responded that she was busy praying... with her eyes closed.

There’s nothing wrong with praying... in fact, the Apostle Paul tells us to “Never stop praying” in 1 Thessalonians 5:17.   And while many of us would never drive with our eyes literally closed... some of us do pray blinded by something else...  selfishness.

-       -  We pray that others would change so that our lives would get easier

-       -  We pray for things that others are doing wrong while we are doing the exact same thing

-       -  We pray for our finances but aren’t obedient to God with what He’s already given us

-       -  We pray that God would bless our lives yet know that we are making choices that don’t line up with His Word

God hears EVERY prayer... even when our eyes are on ourselves when we talk to Him.  He cares deeply for us and wants us to lift up our requests regularly.  However, when all we do is pray for things that involve or benefit us, we run the risk of becoming prideful.  

As Christ-followers we are servants.  Our primary focus shouldn’t be our needs but the needs of others... to love, serve, and lift up those that God has put in our path.  We have to keep our eyes open at all times to see what THEY need so that we can intercede on their behalf... knowing that God will provide for us in His own way at the same time. 

Take a few minutes today and look over your personal prayer list.  How many of those requests solely benefit you and how many help others?   My prayer is that the eye-opening results would encourage you (and me) to consistently evaluate how we can become better at being others-focused.    We shouldn’t neglect our needs... but closing our eyes to those around us can cause us to drift from the road God has set before us. 

Answering

One day a woman was rushing home from a doctor’s appointment. The doctor had been somewhat delayed at the hospital, and the lab work took a little longer than usual so by the time she left the clinic she was running quite a bit behind schedule. She still had to pick up her prescription, pick up the children from the baby-sitter, and get home and make supper, all in time to make it to the prayer meeting at her church that evening. As she began to circle the busy Wal-Mart parking lot, looking for a space, the windows of heaven were opened, as it says in Genesis, and a downpour began. While she wasn’t usually the type to bother God with small problems, she began to pray as she turned down the row closest to the front door. "Lord, you know what kind of a day I’ve had, and there’s still an awful lot to do. Could you please grant me a parking space right away, oh, and close to the building so I don’t get soaked." The words weren’t even completely out of her mouth when she saw the backup lights of a car come on at the end of the row. It was the best space in the whole parking lot, right next to the handicap spots and straight out from the front door. She made straight for it and as she pulled in, she said, "never mind God, something just opened up."

Too often this is us...

We pray for God to hear and answer our prayers... and when He does we act as if we we’re owed His provision.  That somehow His blessings should be taken for granted... as ordinary... or as something we’ve somehow earned.  

Has the uncommon become too common?  Are we still grateful for God’s blessings?

A parking space opens up... our child gets into the school... we catch every green light on the way to work....  or maybe it’s bigger things...

The cancer goes away

The spouse returns home

What seemed impossible is now reality because we prayed for it.  

This isn’t a new situation.  

“As Jesus continued on toward Jerusalem, he reached the border between Galilee and Samaria. As he entered a village there, ten lepers stood at a distance, crying out, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!”

He looked at them and said, “Go show yourselves to the priests.”And as they went, they were cleansed of their leprosy.

One of them, when he saw that he was healed, came back to Jesus, shouting, “Praise God!”  He fell to the ground at Jesus’ feet, thanking him for what he had done. This man was a Samaritan.

Jesus asked, “Didn’t I heal ten men? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give glory to God except this foreigner?” And Jesus said to the man, “Stand up and go. Your faith has healed you.”  Luke 17:11-19

Only one came back to thank God.  

Only one didn’t see the healing as coincidence or something that he deserved.  

Only one was grateful to Jesus for answering his plea.

Only one showed gratitude not entitlement. 

Today, if you’ve been blessed by God or had prayers answered... take a few minutes and tell God thank you.  It’s not that He’s waiting in Heaven for us to do so... but being grateful helps us remember where blessings come from.  It isn’t luck.  It isn’t coincidence.  

It doesn’t come because we do good... it happens because HE is good.  

He hears prayers.  Every single one of them.  And when He answers them... don’t be surprised.  Don’t think it’s something you’re owed.  Don’t let the enemy convince you that you were due a “break” from God.  

See answered prayer as further evidence of His involvement in our lives.   He cares deeply for us...not for us to be happy all the time... but for us to have the right (and reverent) attitude toward Him.  

Been praying?

He answers.

Thank God.

Unloveable?

Leonardo Da Vinci, just before he started work on his "Last Supper" had a violent argument with a fellow painter. Leonardo was so bitter that he determined to paint the face of his enemy, the other artist, into the face of Judas, and thus take his revenge by handing the man down in infamy and scorn to succeeding generations. The face of Judas was, therefore, one of the first he finished. And everyone could easily recognize it as the face of the painter with whom he had fought with.

But when he came to paint the face of Christ, he could make no progress. Something seemed to be baffling him, holding him back, frustrating his best efforts. Finally he came to the conclusion that the thing that was frustrating him was that he had painted the face of his enemy onto the face of Judas. He painted out the face of Judas and was then able to resume his work on the face of Jesus and this time did it with the success that the ages have acclaimed.

Sometimes negative feelings can hold us back from where we desire to be in life. Like Leonardo, maybe it’s the spirit of revenge... or perhaps it’s anger, jealousy, or spitefulness. God’s plan for our lives doesn’t revolve around any of these. In fact, those reactions that we feel entitled to actually get in the way of our obedience toward Him... and His blessing on our lives. God has a much better idea...

Love others

“‘Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?’

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.’” Matthew 22:36-40

The second part of the verse unlocks a clue as to how to be obedient. Loving others. This is not a suggestion or an option. If we are Christ-followers we are told to love those that He has placed around us. Friends... enemies... those that encourage AND those that tear us down. Not an easy task... but one that we must figure out to be obedient. How do we do that? How can we love those that we don’t even like?

1) Recognize that our lack of love for them is sin. Confess it... and ask for God to remind us of how He loves us (even in our broken and sinful condition). We tend to expect God’s love but struggle to pass it along to others.

2) Choose not to be controlled by feelings. You can’t force yourself to feel love... but you can CHOOSE to love in spite of the negative feelings. It’s will over want. (Matt. 5:43-44)

3) Trust God to help you love them. What we cannot do ourselves... the Holy Spirit can do within us. God’s word says to do it... so it can’t be impossible. We can count on God to provide the strength and will we’ll need to love even the most unloveable. 


4) Pray for them... not that they’ll change... but that God would help you see them differently. Pray for their success...that they would grow and thrive... that God would bless them. He may not change them but the exercise will DEFINITELY change you.

Today’s devotional is the type that many will dismiss as impossible. Or unfair. It just doesn’t seem right to have to love someone who treats us poorly or gives us no love in return. But remember, God’s thoughts are not like ours (Isaiah 55:8). He died for the world. Everyone. Not just the nice... or the semi-perfect... or the put together... He sacrificed Himself for everyone. There will be people in this world that you might not like to be around... but they can be loved because they are His creation too. God loves them just as much as He loves you.

Spend a few minutes and take some inventory. Are there people you have labelled as unloveable? Pray for them today. Not that God would change them... but that He would give you some fresh insight... a renewed heart... a different way of seeing the world. Your life will never be the same. When we obediently love God and love His creation... we are blessed... and we take steps toward our God potential.