Tell the Truth

Each week for 10 weeks, 110 individuals, ages 18-71, took a lie detector test and completed health and relationship measures assessing the number of major and minor lies they told that week, says lead author Anita Kelly, a psychology professor at the University of Notre Dame in Indiana. She presented findings at the annual meeting of the American Psychological Association, which ended Sunday.

"When they went up in their lies, their health went down," says Kelly. "When their lies went down, their health improved."

Evidence from past research suggests that Americans average about 11 lies a week. Kelly says the no-lie group participants were down to one lie, on average, per week. For both groups, when participants lied less in a given week, they reported their physical health and mental health to be significantly better that week.

- (from USAToday - August 4, 2012)

For some of us, participation in that experiment would have been easy. Not tell lies? Cake.

For others... let’s just say they would have had to go into an isolation chamber. Lying is their default setting.

But if telling the truth improves our spiritual, mental, and physical health, why do we still lie? We only do it when we feel cornered... when we want to have an advantage... when we are trying to manipulate... when we get bored... etc. There are literally hundreds of reasons to justify a lie and we know them all.

The Bible talks directly about the affects that lying has on our lives...

“There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.” Proverbs 6:16-19

“A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who breathes out lies will perish.” Proverbs 19:9

“Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.” Colossians 3:9-10

So let’s go down the Bible verse list and recap...

Lying:

is something God hates

will cause us to perish

takes us back to our old selves

hurts the body of Christ

Big consequences for temporary “fixes” right?

Are we lying to ourselves?

We think it buys us time... but it just delays the pain.

We think we are sparing feelings.. but we are just hurting the integrity of the friendship.

We think we are protecting... we are slowly destroying.

Every day, liars have to think about...

What if the truth is revealed?

What if the secret comes out?

What if the trust is shattered?

Should we feel sorry for those who lie? Not necessarily. Lying is a choice. We know it’s not what God wants us to do yet we choose to do it. We aren’t forced, coerced, or held against our will to tell half-truths. We cause irreparable damage, miss the mark by sinning, and leave an indelible “X” on our scorecard.

Lying becomes an addiction.. an automatic “go to” move that quickly becomes the norm rather than the exception. It’s a slippery slope that some don’t even bother trying to overcome.

So how do we beat this?

- Decide that just because others are lying their way through life... you’re not going to. Honesty may bring consequences but God is glorified through your authenticity.

- Remember that the truth is easier. Mark Twain once wrote “Always tell the truth. That way you don’t have to remember what you said.” Very wise.

- Know what lying is. It’s not telling the truth. Period. You can easily convince yourself that you aren’t lying...but you know when you are.

- Understand that remaining silent when your word could make a difference is a form of lying.

- Know that your reputation is at stake. Once you become known as the “liar”... repairing the damage will be extremely difficult.

- Tell the truth even when it hurts. Start with little things you would normally lie about and work your way up to more consequential situations.

- Understand why you lie. Is it because you’re insecure? Afraid? When you know the meaning behind the misleading you can make progress in living a life of honesty.

No matter the reason for your lying... it’s never too late to change. God has a plan for your life... and integrity, honesty, and a sincere heart are an integral part of it. He will be there to walk with you through the consequences and give you the strength to be a truth-teller... even when it’s difficult to do so!

I'll Let You Know

I heard a story once about a husband who was being yelled at by his wife.  Everyday she nagged him and pestered him with the same statement, “Why don’t you tell me you love me anymore?”  After several weeks of this, the man simply couldn’t take it anymore.  After his wife finished her daily tirade, he slowly turned to her and said, “You want to know why I don’t tell you I love you?  Because when me got married, I told you then.  If that ever changes... I’ll let you know.”

Why don’t we say it more?  Do your friends know you care about and love them?  How about your spouse?  Has there ever been a mentor in your life?  Brother or sister?

If they were gone tomorrow.... would they know how you feel about them?

Life is way too short to go around assuming people know how we feel.  Look at today’s verses...

“So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”  John 13:34-35

“Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?”

Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’  This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”  Matthew 22:36-39

“For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.”  John 3:16

Jesus Christ didn’t wait to tell us He loved us... in fact, He climbed on a cross so there would be no doubt... He was crucified to eliminate any wonder...  We never have to guess God’s intent or doubt His feelings.  

Jesus is passionate about us

In the verses, He tells us to express our love for each other in a similar way.   Sacrificially...wholly...without reservation, embarrassment, shame, or condition.  

Love those God has placed in our lives... and remind them of that love regularly.  Who is it in your life that you haven’t expressed your feelings towards in a while?

Is it your friend who has never left your side while you lay in the pit?

Is it a spouse who stood by your bedside while doctors treated you?

Is it a mentor who never made you feel like you were bothering them with the 500th question?

Is it your child...who is still trying to figure out the world, their emotions, and your rules all at the same time?  

Is it someone who has hurt you in your family.  The pain runs deep.  They seek underserved forgiveness and you’ve met them with silent stares.

Who needs you to tell them you love them today?

I found this anonymous quote: “Have you ever wondered which hurts the most: Saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing, and wish you had?”

Mistakes are fixable but regret is forever.  Don’t wait.  Make today the day you tell those special people in your life how you feel about them.  Love them, encourage them, and remind them that no matter how deep the hole, how dark the valley, or how challenging the storm... you will be there for them.

Because they matter to God.

Because they matter they matter to you.

and you love them.

Unloveable?

Leonardo Da Vinci, just before he started work on his "Last Supper" had a violent argument with a fellow painter. Leonardo was so bitter that he determined to paint the face of his enemy, the other artist, into the face of Judas, and thus take his revenge by handing the man down in infamy and scorn to succeeding generations. The face of Judas was, therefore, one of the first he finished. And everyone could easily recognize it as the face of the painter with whom he had fought with.

But when he came to paint the face of Christ, he could make no progress. Something seemed to be baffling him, holding him back, frustrating his best efforts. Finally he came to the conclusion that the thing that was frustrating him was that he had painted the face of his enemy onto the face of Judas. He painted out the face of Judas and was then able to resume his work on the face of Jesus and this time did it with the success that the ages have acclaimed.

Sometimes negative feelings can hold us back from where we desire to be in life. Like Leonardo, maybe it’s the spirit of revenge... or perhaps it’s anger, jealousy, or spitefulness. God’s plan for our lives doesn’t revolve around any of these. In fact, those reactions that we feel entitled to actually get in the way of our obedience toward Him... and His blessing on our lives. God has a much better idea...

Love others

“‘Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?’

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.’” Matthew 22:36-40

The second part of the verse unlocks a clue as to how to be obedient. Loving others. This is not a suggestion or an option. If we are Christ-followers we are told to love those that He has placed around us. Friends... enemies... those that encourage AND those that tear us down. Not an easy task... but one that we must figure out to be obedient. How do we do that? How can we love those that we don’t even like?

1) Recognize that our lack of love for them is sin. Confess it... and ask for God to remind us of how He loves us (even in our broken and sinful condition). We tend to expect God’s love but struggle to pass it along to others.

2) Choose not to be controlled by feelings. You can’t force yourself to feel love... but you can CHOOSE to love in spite of the negative feelings. It’s will over want. (Matt. 5:43-44)

3) Trust God to help you love them. What we cannot do ourselves... the Holy Spirit can do within us. God’s word says to do it... so it can’t be impossible. We can count on God to provide the strength and will we’ll need to love even the most unloveable. 


4) Pray for them... not that they’ll change... but that God would help you see them differently. Pray for their success...that they would grow and thrive... that God would bless them. He may not change them but the exercise will DEFINITELY change you.

Today’s devotional is the type that many will dismiss as impossible. Or unfair. It just doesn’t seem right to have to love someone who treats us poorly or gives us no love in return. But remember, God’s thoughts are not like ours (Isaiah 55:8). He died for the world. Everyone. Not just the nice... or the semi-perfect... or the put together... He sacrificed Himself for everyone. There will be people in this world that you might not like to be around... but they can be loved because they are His creation too. God loves them just as much as He loves you.

Spend a few minutes and take some inventory. Are there people you have labelled as unloveable? Pray for them today. Not that God would change them... but that He would give you some fresh insight... a renewed heart... a different way of seeing the world. Your life will never be the same. When we obediently love God and love His creation... we are blessed... and we take steps toward our God potential.

Faithful Love

I recently read the story of author Mary Ann Bird. In the article, she shared this very personal story in The Whisper Test. She wrote, “I grew up knowing I was different, and I hated it. I was born with a cleft palate, and when I started school, my classmates made it clear to me how I looked to others: a little girl with a misshapen lip, crooked nose, lopsided teeth, and garbled speech.”

“When classmates asked, ‘What happened to your lip? I’d tell them I’d fallen and cut it on a piece of glass. Somehow it seemed more acceptable to have suffered an accident than to have been born different. I was convinced that no one outside my family could love me.”



“There was, however, a teacher in the second grade that we all adored—Mrs. Leonard [was her] name. She was short, round, happy—a sparkling lady.”

Annually we had a hearing test . . .

Mrs. Leonard gave the test to everyone in the class, and finally it was my turn. I knew from past years that as we stood against the door and covered one ear, the teacher sitting at her desk would whisper something, and we would have to repeat it back—things like “The sky is blue” or “Do you have new shoes?” I waited there for those words that God must have put into her mouth. [They were] seven words that changed my life. Mrs. Leonard said in her whisper, “I wish you were my little girl”

Ever feel alone? Left out? Different? Rejected? Less valuable than others?

Ever wonder if God REALLY wants you in His family? After all... you did or said what you did or said. Can’t take it back and can’t change the past.

Worry no more.

God wants you.

God won’t reject you.

God won’t send you away because you’re different.

God loves different. God CREATED different.

It doesn’t matter how you think you look today. Or how badly they made fun of you. Who you are in Christ is defined by the One who knit you together not by the ones trying to pick you apart.

You could have broken dreams, a broken heart, or be broken in spirit... imperfect or all-together wrecked.

God wants you to know something today.

You are not an accident.

You are not less valuable than anyone else.

You are loved.

"Give thanks to the God of heaven.

His faithful love endures forever." Psalm 136:26

Let that sink in a second... the one Who started your heart beating is in love with it. He declares His devotion to you over and over in scripture. He doesn’t have you confused with your overachieving brother... or the rich lady down the street... or the perfect parent at the pediatrician’s office.

He is talking about you.

He wants you to know that your past doesn’t define you and your future has yet to be written.

You are loved.

Loving Care

One day a young boy was eating potato chips and had made a terrible mess on the floor.  His father entered the room, noticed the mess, and told his son that he would clean it up for him.  The boy quickly replied... “No dad, I’ll do it!”  The dad thought a second and said, “No, if I let you do it, you’re going to make a bigger mess.”  The boy protested... “No I won’t!”  So the father relented and let his son clean up the chips.

The result?  As expected, the boy made a bigger mess.   

When we hear this story, we can be too quick to dismiss it as something only a child would do.  But take a second and think about it... don’t we do the same thing with God?  Time after time in scripture He tells us that He will take care of things for us... revenge, provision, fulfillment, peace.. and so much more.   Yet, we tell God all the time... “I’ve got it!”  And the result, a bigger mess.  Proverbs 21:2 says “A person may think their own ways are right, but the Lord weighs the heart”   God knows best... and when we try to help Him handle our lives, we typically just make things more complicated.  Make the commitment today to take God at His word... Let Him do what He says He wants to do for us... and praise Him when you experience the blessing of His loving care.

Very Little

Richard Wurmbrand was a Romanian Pastor who spent fourteen years in Communist prisons suffering for his faith in Christ.  When he wasn’t in solitary confinement, he endured physical torture and exposure to long periods of hunger and freezing temperatures.  In prison, he was given one slice of bread per week for food. Every tenth week, he would “tithe” his food... giving the entire slice to a weaker prisoner as an act of obedience to God.  

The Bible tells us that caring for those less fortunate is an important part of following Christ.  Psalm 19 says that as we care for others... we are caring for God... and that He will repay us for our generosity.  Many hesitate providing for the poor because they look at what they have and don’t think it’s enough to make a difference.   Let’s choose to follow the example of Pastor Richard... even in unfavorable times... with very little... we should remain generous to others and obedient to God... pouring into the lives of those with even less than we have.  It’s that kind of heart that rises above circumstance and achieves true greatness for the Kingdom.

Real Love

One day a couple from the church were out distributing loaves of bread in a low-income housing complex. They came to an apartment where they heard arguing through the door, but they decided to knock anyway. A man opened the door and asked what they wanted. One of the visitors said, "We don't want anything. We just wondered if you know anyone who could use some loaves of bread?" 

"Why are you doing that?" the man asked. 

"Just to let people know that God loves them." 

"What did you just say?" the man asked, rather anxiously. 

"We're just handing out loaves of bread to let people know that God loves them." 

The man stared and said, "I can't believe this. We just buried our three-week-old son yesterday, and now here you are at our door." 

The visitors offered to pray with them, and the couple accepted their offer. As they were leaving, and the door was being closed, they heard the husband say to his wife, "See, honey? I told you God cares. We thought he wasn't paying attention to us, but he sent those people here to make sure we knew."

Over two thousand years ago, the world heard knock at the door.  The source?  Jesus. Born in a manger...wrapped in strips of cloth... ready to grow and save mankind from its sins.   Jesus the Messiah.  The world changer.  The life bringer. 

He’d come to a world who’d thought that God had given up on them... wasn’t paying attention to their needs.  Many thought God wasn’t interested anymore...that sin would win out... that the enemy was given a victory by default.  They were wrong.

“For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.”  John 3:16

Jesus came to earth with a message and a mission.  More than just a loaf of bread to the hungry.  He gave mercy.  He extended grace.  It was a reminder that God does care... and that He wants to spend eternity with His creation rather than be separated from them.  

Jesus came because God loves.  With a genuine and deep affection... God loves.  You aren’t just a person to Him...you are His child.  And He loves you.

Imperfect...hurting...confused...challenged... A genuinely flawed but infinitely valuable child of the King of Kings.  That’s you.  YOU are the one He loves.

His affection for you isn’t based on anything you’ve done.  You haven’t earned it.  You don’t deserve it.  You can’t make it increase or lessen.  It is genuine, heartfelt, and unconditional.  

He loves us just as we are... and loves us too much to let us stay that way.  He is always working to better us... to help us be more like Him.  Sometimes His affection takes the form of discipline...sometimes challenge... sometimes brokenness.  But during all of those, He never leaves our side.  We matter to Him.  Profoundly.  And all He asks in return for His affection?

Love Him back... 

...and love those He puts in our path with the same level of affection that we receive from Him:

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”  -  John 13:34-35

We serve an amazing God... May the love He gives you remind you to pass it along to others.  Somebody somewhere is sitting behind a closed door... wondering if God has forgotten about them.  Let’s remind them that He hasn’t...  ... and that He loves them. 

Same Energy

Mother Teresa was once asked “Don’t you ever become angry at the causes of social injustice that you see in India or in any of the places in which you work?”  She thought for a long moment and replied, “Why should I expend energy in anger that I can expend in love.”

During the course of a day, we have a limited amount of both time and energy.  And decision by decision, we get to choose how we use it.   Should we become furious and yell... or be forgiving and loving?  Same amount of time.  Same amount of energy.  So which one is what God wants?  Scripture tells us in James chapter 1 that “the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”  And if our goal is to become more like Christ (which it should be), then the choice is clear.  Why waste time throwing our hands in the air and yelling... instead, why not use that same passion to calm a situation, extend grace, show mercy, and help people see Christ reflected in our love for them.  While this isn’t always the easiest choice, it is the most effective one as we strive forward to reach our God potential.

Not Just a Feeling

An Ethiopian folk tale tells of a wife’s determination to save her marriage.  The story goes that a couple was having relationship trouble... so the wife goes to a judge and says she needs help.  The judge tells her that he has a magic medicine that will solve her problem.  However, the main ingredient is a hair from a lion’s tail.  Loving her husband, the desperate woman agrees and goes out to acquire the hair.  Day after day she stalks a lion waiting for her opportunity.  Finally, one day she snatches the hair and races back to the judge...eager for the tonic that will save her marriage.  The judge tells her... “that was a very brave thing you did... it took determination, patience, resolve, and courage.  There is no magical potion.  Instead of looking for the quick fix... demonstrate those same things in your relationship... and I promise it will get better.”

Marriage is wonderful.  But I have yet to see one that hasn’t required hard work, compromise, understanding, forgiveness, and honesty to thrive.  If you’re having trouble... don’t scour the bookstore or the internet for a shortcut.  Reinvest your time in what built your bond from the start.  As 1st Corinthians 13 tells us, love isn’t just a feeling... it’s a commitment.  And when energy is spent on reinforcing that commitment rather than regretting it... great things can happen. 

Love One Another

I was preparing to teach one weekend, I ran across an old story about the 20th century violin virtuoso, Fritz Kreisler. Setting out from Hamburg, Germany, one day to give a concert in London, he had an hour before his boat sailed.  He wandered into a music shop, where the proprietor asked if he might look at the violin Kreisler was carrying.  He then vanished and returned with two policemen, one of whom told the violinist, “You are under arrest.”

“What for?” asked Kreisler.

“You have Fritz Kreisler’s violin.”

“I am Fritz Kreisler,” protested the musician.

“No you’re not. Come along.”

As Kreisler’s boat was sailing soon, there was no time for prolonged explanations.  Kreisler asked for his violin and played a piece he was well known for. “Now are you satisfied?” He asked.

The policemen let the musician go because he had done what only Fritz Kreisler could do.

If you are a follower of Christ... did you know that there’s something that you can do that is unique to being a believer?   Something you can do that the world doesn’t understand?   What is it?

The Bible puts it this way:  “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35

Love.  Real genuine love.  Christ demonstrated this “Agape” love... even to those that were hurting Him emotionally and physically.  It’s not the “I love you let’s get married” kind of love.. or even the love a parent has for a child.  This is deeper love.  Unconditional love.  “Loving your enemies” kind of love.  It’s the type of feeling that transcends typical emotional response and dares to change the world.   

It’s our identifier as believers.  Our calling card.  It’s what we should be known to have and to give away with great and unexplainable frequency.  If we are believers, love should be our default reaction even when the rest of the world wouldn’t.

So many people characterize Christians as judgmental, closed-minded, and out-of-touch.  While these sweeping generalizations are far from truthful... wouldn’t it be great if we were known for the way we love others?  To care for and protect those that the world has turned it’s back on?  To hug the outcasts? To reach out to those that have made mistakes?  

It shouldn’t be hard to tell we’re Christian.  And not because we wear a cross, or carry a Bible, or have a few scriptures memorized... It should be because we love Christ first and, in turn, are loving, caring, kind, and understanding even in the face of great adversity or persecution.  Love is something everyone says they can do... but true students of the Savior do it when everyone else turns away.  

Be who you were created to be... rescue those God puts in your path... do what only a Christ-follower can... 

Care for others with the heart of God...

See others through the eyes of God...

and love others because He first loved you.  

“For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.”  John 3:16