Thursday, June 1, 2017

Passive Honesty

There is a story about an older couple having dinner in a restaurant. The wife sees another couple about their age sitting in a booth nearby. She sees the husband sitting close to his wife, with his arm around her. He is whispering things in her ear, and she is smiling and blushing. He’s gently rubbing her shoulder and touching her hair.  The woman turns to her husband and says, "Look at the couple over there. Look how close that man is to his wife, how he’s talking to her. Look at how sweet he is. Why don’t you ever do that?"  Her husband looks up from his Caesar salad and glances over at the next booth. Then he turns to his wife and says, "Honey, I don’t even know that woman."

Ever have a chat like that with your spouse?  You ask an honest question... and you get something in return that never helps... sarcasm.  One of the greatest enemies to meaningful conversation in use today.  Sarcastic remarks, snide comments, jabs, pokes, and “just kiddings” are far too often used in place of honesty and openness.

The Bible talks about this in Ephesians 4:29 “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”


Sarcasm is a destroyer.  It is passive honesty... used to cloak true feelings in a jab or joke.   It’s used to avoid confrontation... yet often causes it.  If we are going to grow into better communicators, we have to learn to leave sarcasm behind.  It does far more damage than we realize and becomes our go-to conversational escape route if we’re not careful.   Rise above it!  Choose to value the person you are speaking to with a straight (and loving) answer.  Not only will you grow closer to each other... you’ll be honoring God in the process.