“You must not testify falsely against your neighbor.” Exodus 20:16
“Lying is man’s universal weakness.” - Mark Twain
Each week for 10 weeks, 110 individuals, ages 18-71, took a lie detector test and completed health and relationship measures assessing the number of major and minor lies they told that week, says lead author Anita Kelly, a psychology professor at the University of Notre Dame in Indiana. She presented findings at the annual meeting of the American Psychological Association, which ended Sunday.
"When they went up in their lies, their health went down," says Kelly. "When their lies went down, their health improved."
Evidence from past research suggests that Americans average about 11 lies a week. Kelly says the no-lie group participants were down to one lie, on average, per week. For both groups, when participants lied less in a given week, they reported their physical health and mental health to be significantly better that week.
(from USAToday - August 4, 2012)
For some of us, participation in that experiment would have been easy. Not tell lies? Cake.
For others... let’s just say they would have had to go into an isolation chamber. Lying is their default setting.
But if telling the truth improves our spiritual, mental, and physical health, why do we still lie? We only do it when we feel cornered... when we want to have an advantage... when we are trying to manipulate... when we get bored... etc. There are literally hundreds of reasons to justify a lie and we know them all.
The Bible talks directly about the affects that lying has on our lives...
“There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.” Proverbs 6:16-19
“A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who breathes out lies will perish.” Proverbs 19:9
“Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.” Colossians 3:9-10
So let’s go down the Bible verse list and recap...
Lying:
- is something God hates
- will cause us to perish
- takes us back to our old selves
- hurts the body of Christ
Big consequences for temporary “fixes” right?
Are we lying to ourselves?
We think it buys us time... but it just delays the pain.
We think we are sparing feelings.. but we are just hurting the integrity of the friendship.
We think we are protecting... we are slowly destroying.
Every day, liars have to think about...
What if the truth is revealed?
What if the secret comes out?
What if the trust is shattered?
Should we feel sorry for those who lie? Not necessarily. Lying is a choice. We know it’s not what God wants us to do yet we choose to do it. We aren’t forced, coerced, or held against our will to tell half-truths. We cause irreparable damage, miss the mark by sinning, and leave an indelible “X” on our scorecard (like we talked about last weekend).
Lying becomes an addiction.. an automatic “go to” move that quickly becomes the norm rather than the exception. It’s a slippery slope that some don’t even bother trying to overcome.
So how do we beat this?
1) Decide that just because others are lying their way through life... you’re not going to. Honesty may bring consequences but God is glorified through your authenticity.
2) Remember that the truth is easier. Mark Twain once wrote “Always tell the truth. That way you don’t have to remember what you said.” Very wise.
3) Know what lying is. It’s not telling the truth. Period. You can easily convince yourself that you aren’t lying...but you know when you are.
4) Understand that remaining silent when your word could make a difference is a form of lying.
5) Know that your reputation is at stake. Once you become known as the “liar”... repairing the damage will be extremely difficult.
6) Tell the truth even when it hurts. Start with little things you would normally lie about and work your way up to more consequential situations.
7) Understand why you lie. Is it because you’re insecure? Afraid? When you know the meaning behind the misleading you can make progress in living a life of honesty.
No matter the reason for your lying... it’s never too late to change. God has a plan for your life... and integrity, honesty, and a sincere heart are an integral part of it. He will be there to walk with you through the consequences and give you the strength to be a truth-teller when it’s difficult to do so.
