There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm. He was given a slingshot to play with, out in the woods. He practiced in the woods, but he could never hit the target. Getting a little discouraged, he headed back to dinner. As he was walking back, he saw Grandma's pet duck. Just out of impulse, he let fly, hit the duck square in the head, and killed it. He was shocked and grieved. In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the woodpile, only to see his sister watching. Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing.
After lunch that day grandma said, "Sally, let's wash the dishes."
But Sally said, "Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen today, didn't you Johnny?" And then she whispered to him, "Remember, the duck?" So Johnny did the dishes.
Later Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing, and Grandma said, "I'm sorry but I need Sally to help make supper."
But Sally smiled and said, "Well, that's all right because Johnny told me he wanted to help." And she whispered again, "Remember, the duck?" So Sally went fishing and Johnny stayed.
Some of you feel just like Johnny. One simple mistake... and it’s held over your head. Maybe for you it was a bad decision... or a promise you broke... or maybe...just maybe... it’s really been nothing. You haven’t done anything at all... but somehow you are still controlled by the silent and strangling hold of...
Guilt.
Have you ever felt guilty about something from the past? I have. It’s the number one weapon of the manipulator. It is their single most powerful tool to control you... and you’ve let them. Why? What is it about them that you’ve allowed their type to setup permanent residence in your head? Psychologists say that the easiest people to manipulate are those that:
1) Only feel useful and loved when they are taking care of the needs of others. This type of person isn’t just nice...they insist on putting the needs of others over their own... often neglecting their own destiny. The manipulator has no problem taking advantage of this...
2) Crave approval and acceptance. Rejection hurts them to the very core. They try to be liked by everybody at all times and lose sleep if they aren’t. Manipulators love this type... they extend approval and then threaten to withdraw it to maintain control.
3) Can’t engage in even the simplest of conflict. Expressing their feelings might upset the other person and it would hurt. The manipulator loves this type...all they have to do is pick a fight... and they win.
4) They can’t say “no.” People who can’t say no are easily controlled by people who are masters at getting what they want by forcing a yes.
5) They don’t know who they are. Mirrors reflect someone they no longer recognize. They don’t see a masterpiece by God... but instead see someone who they feel deserves what they are feeling like.
Sound like anybody you know?
Let’s get back to the rest of Johnny’s story:
After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally's, he finally couldn't stand it any longer. He came to Grandma and confessed that he killed the duck. She knelt down, gave him a hug, and said, "Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing. But because I love you, I forgave you. But I was just wondering how long you would let Sally make a slave of you."
Ever felt like a slave to someone’s manipulation? Why didn’t you put up a boundary... reject it... tell them they had no power over your life? We don’t like boundaries in our own lives... so we don’t put them in front of anybody else to protect ourselves from manipulation. God didn’t create us so that others could be in control... We don’t have to live our lives like helpless marionettes... moving and reacting at the whim of a cruel manipulative puppet master.
We are different. We are whole. We are God’s.
“You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. They are from the world and therefore speak from the viewpoint of the world, and the world listens to them.” 1 John 4:4-5
I challenge you today to begin to build the barrier to those relationships that are manipulative in your life. For whatever reason you may have to justify it.. refuse to live one more day giving up precious mental real estate to someone trying to control your emotions. You are God’s child. Built from the ground up for greatness... with a purpose and destiny that is unique to you. Cut the strings and stand up on your own... echoing what God said about you in the passage above. You are an overcomer... not because of anything you might have done, but because of His deep and unending love for you. He has overcome the world so that you can overcome someone else’s pathetic attempt to manipulate and derail you from your God potential.
Stay strong. I’m lifting you up in prayer as you take your life back from the prison of guilt.
You can do it.
