Is balance possible? Should we be pursuing it? The answer may surprise you.
A recent survey of college graduates indicated that 59% say their top priority is a balance between personal and professional life. Over half! Is this kind of balance even possible? Many think so. There are literally thousands of books written with such topics as pace, perspective, and priority... all to convince people that the ultimate goal in life is to achieve home and work equilibrium.
The Bible talked about this:
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing...” Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Everything has it’s place and time... but is everything supposed to be equal? Balanced? What if it takes longer to mourn than dance? What if breaking down lasts longer than the time it takes to build up? My point? Everything happens in seasons. Some longer...some shorter. There IS a time for everything but there is very little chance that the time that these occur will be anywhere close to equal.
It may happen where your work time and your home time get off kilter. You’ll find yourself in the office longer than with your kids at home. Is this a permanent condition? No...and it shouldn’t be. Both require you to be there... but for a season... one will require more of your attention. I will go further and say that many times these “seasons” are out of your control.
Your boss sends you on a trip and you are gone for two weeks...
Your wife has a health scare and needs you to be with her for a month...
A child needs 100% of your attention...
Your project requires working through the night for a week....
Can all of this be done at the same time? Do any of these look like a balanced life?
Of course not. Life curves. It shifts and bends in unexpected ways... and you’ll have to bend with it.
If it’s so impossible...why do we still seek it? Why does having a perfectly equal life still seem like the ideal pursuit to many?
Why does the lack of balance in life make us feel like failures?
It’s weighing us down... How can we get out of the bog of balance?
PERSPECTIVE.
Many see life like the croaking of a frog.
RIBBIT - rest - RIBBIT - rest. - RIBBIT - rest
Perfectly metered...equally paced. Off, on, off, on. Work, home, work, home. A perfect blend.
This is NOT life. You may hear this in a swamp but you won’t see it in your neighborhood. We get into trouble when we feel like our lives should live up to this unrealistic expectation. It simply isn’t possible or necessary.
Life is much more like the song of the bird. Music... loud, soft, long rests and short blasts. Melodic...flowing...pausing...restarting. It isn’t loud crescendos all the time... often it’s calm melodies... thoughtful passages where great focus is placed on the benefit of the entire piece over one grouping of instruments. Sometimes it gets very loud and stays there... only to give way to a necessary silence. A time to catch your breath, turn the page, and continue playing. Unequally paced...intentionally asymmetrical.
The key to a fulfilled life is seeking Christ in all things... realizing that we should be focused on His rhythms over the hard cadence of what the world deems to be healthy.
I love the way this verse from Matthew talks about it.
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:28-30
Recover your life. Unforced rhythms of grace. Real rest.
Only through Christ.
Jesus didn’t try to balance His ministry... spending equal time with His disciples and those He came to serve. Instead He knew that He had a limited time to make an impact for the Kingdom...
He gave His all to fulfill His purpose...
Intentionally poured into His family when He was with them...
Involved those He loved in what He was doing...
Stayed connected to God through honest communication in prayer..
It wasn’t balance He was after... it was rhythm. The world may have said He wasn’t balanced... and they would be right. He wasn’t going for parity. He was fulfilling His purpose.
We should do the same.
Thrive where you’re planted... make the most of the season you’re in... and dance to the perfect rhythm of life by following Christ. Give up the pursuit of balance and embrace the ebb and flow of God’s timing and mission for your life.
Let the frogs croak... you weren’t meant for the bog anyway.
