Tony Evans, Pastor of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship in Texas, spoke of being on an elevator in a high-rise building. He didn’t like riding elevators because he worried that something would go wrong. One day it did. The car he was riding in got stuck in between floors. He noted that some of the people in the car became frantic. They began to beat on the door hoping to get someone’s attention. Others began to yell in the hopes that their voices would get someone on the surrounding floors to come to the aid. But nobody heard their noise or their cries. Then Evans quietly made his way to the front of the car, opened a little door in the wall and pulled out a telephone. Immediately he was connected with someone on the outside. He didn’t need to beat on the wall to get their attention. He didn’t need to speak loudly in the phone to receive their help. He could have whispered and they would have heard him.
Anger and yelling did nothing to get those people out of the elevator. Instead, patience and self-control solved the problem. The Bible talks about this very thing...
“Better to be patient than powerful;
better to have self-control than to conquer a city.” Proverbs 16:32
In any relationship, anger and lack of self-control hurt the ability to honestly communicate. When one side is afraid of making the other mad for fear of setting off an emotional volcano...there is an issue...and before long, all meaningful communication stops. If we are going to have deeper relationships, we must be in control of our temper...not over-reacting to a situation or a remark. By doing so, we create an environment where both sides are equally heard... honesty and trust thrive... and God-honoring solutions are reached.
